...something I can't say...
Just finished Imma's photo shoot. Fucking pasting on 80 crystals to her face is a tedious task. It's 1:51am. I will never sleep again. I'm running on empty, surprise, surprise.
Paulina, I need you right now.
You know that feeling when you feel completely useless? When you feel like you have absolutely no control over anything? No matter what you feel inside, no matter how much you think, nothing ever happens the way you think it will. My expectations of -everything- have been jaded.
I kind of want to tell everyone to fuck off and stop judging me. Leave me alone, and let me deal. You know the problem with blogs? Everyone who reads them thinks you are talking about them, or they assume you're talking about an issue you're having with them. Interpretations are fucked. And I bet everyone reading this is thinking that this blog entry is about them, but they'll choose to ignore the fact, and continue to assume that I'm talking about someone else.
No matter how fucking well you know me, you don't. No one ever will. There are people out there who I want to know me the most, more than anyone else, so my capabilities of love, and waging trust, are indeed valid. But I really can't cope with someone saying that I'm taking advantage of one of my best friends, I can't cope with someone abusing me for something I didn't even write about them, I can't cope with being kept in the dark over something that concerns me, when -everyone- else knows what the fuck is going on. All I get is silence.
Perhaps I've had a -really- long day. But no way, no more. Let me go.
Have you ever thought he may put himself out there too much? That there may be someone else that means anything to me in my life? That I fucking love you too much to stay silent? Don't bother answering me. I know there's nothing to say.
PunkOnAir : Natalie Imbruglia - Left Of The Middle
Paulina, I need you right now.
You know that feeling when you feel completely useless? When you feel like you have absolutely no control over anything? No matter what you feel inside, no matter how much you think, nothing ever happens the way you think it will. My expectations of -everything- have been jaded.
I kind of want to tell everyone to fuck off and stop judging me. Leave me alone, and let me deal. You know the problem with blogs? Everyone who reads them thinks you are talking about them, or they assume you're talking about an issue you're having with them. Interpretations are fucked. And I bet everyone reading this is thinking that this blog entry is about them, but they'll choose to ignore the fact, and continue to assume that I'm talking about someone else.
No matter how fucking well you know me, you don't. No one ever will. There are people out there who I want to know me the most, more than anyone else, so my capabilities of love, and waging trust, are indeed valid. But I really can't cope with someone saying that I'm taking advantage of one of my best friends, I can't cope with someone abusing me for something I didn't even write about them, I can't cope with being kept in the dark over something that concerns me, when -everyone- else knows what the fuck is going on. All I get is silence.
Perhaps I've had a -really- long day. But no way, no more. Let me go.
Have you ever thought he may put himself out there too much? That there may be someone else that means anything to me in my life? That I fucking love you too much to stay silent? Don't bother answering me. I know there's nothing to say.
PunkOnAir : Natalie Imbruglia - Left Of The Middle
posted by Christopher at 7:17 PM
1 Comments:
oh my god. i knew it. that blog was about ME. and you.
want.
my.
ass.
let it all out mr D. you are my fukn inspiration.
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