Hold my hand

Went back to the parental home today.

Found out my mum may have breast cancer.

What am I supposed to think?

I was a mummy's boy as a kid. Always ran to her when I got hurt, always ran to her for support. The arms of my mother were my cradle. Sleeping in her arms as a boy was the most comfortable I've ever felt. She'd hold my hand when we'd go shopping. Watching her pick out my clothes in Myer... Why can't I stop crying?

Now I'm the one who holds her hand and takes her out to coffee. I stand taller than her and makes sure she crosses the road okay. Rubbing her head when she has a headache. Straightening the furniture so it's at right angles, because she's too small to do it herself. Boiling the water so she can have some tea.

I love her so much. I can't bear to look into her eyes and see her looking back at me, telepathically trying to tell me everything will be okay.

I want her to see me succeed. I want to be able to look after her. I want her to hold my child.

When will the crying end?


PunkOnAir : Kelly Clarkson - Where Is Your Heart?